She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
