I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
