no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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