He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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