My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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