I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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