I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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