my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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