Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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