he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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