It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
