It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
