I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
