The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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