nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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