Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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