He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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