sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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