i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
