How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
