you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize