i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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