God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
