My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
