Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
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It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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