Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
