he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
NoShamevember. You game?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
