idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
