Someone shit on the floor
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I woke up under a house in Key West
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