I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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