i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
