WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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