omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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