Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
