On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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