Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
