Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
