You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
