Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
