just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
