I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize