Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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