he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
