hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
