How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
