This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
