OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Michael Bay diarrhea
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
