Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
