I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
pray to the hookup gods
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
