How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
