I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
