He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
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