You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
