please come you make the beer taste better
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
