you win again, gameday.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
