Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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