You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
