I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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