please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
honey bunches of taint.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
