we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life