You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.