Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
