Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
